Example 3 The Perfectionist
The Perfectionist wants everything to be ‘just-so’. From how you look, to what you wear,
to everything you do, there are standards and anything less than perfect just won’t do.
Whether as housemother or housefather on the one hand or neurosurgeon on the other hand, the Perfectionist expects you to be the best and when you are, it will think you could be even better! A great editor (and re-editor) the Perfectionist spots the smallest imperfections and judges people whose standards don’t match up as ‘sloppy!’.
The Perfectionist makes a formidable double act with the Pusher, but when it’s out of
control, it can make life a misery. It never lets up and is impossible to please, so when
the Perfectionist is around and you’re just starting out or learning new skills, it’s easy to
get demoralized.
Example 4 The Responsible Self
The Responsible self takes life seriously. It knows that there’s a right and wrong way to
behave and makes sure that you act ‘appropriately’. If it had a motto, it would be ‘do the
right thing’. For the Responsible self, safety and order are very important. It will always
have you think ahead and cover all bases. There’s no limit to how responsible it would have you be, but when it comes to letting your hair down, limits are what it’s all about. If your Responsible self is out in force it’s not easy to be in the moment or to have too much fun, and there’s nothing the Responsible self likes less than people who are foolish and ‘irresponsible!’
Example 5 The Rational Mind
The Rational Mind thinks things through and works things out. Knowing ‘how’ is important but knowing ‘why’ is more important still. It is concerned with facts and reasoning; with clarity and making sense. When it’s in control life becomes more black and white and decision-making feels a whole lot easier. Cool and impersonal, it connects better with ideas than it does with people, so when the Rational Mind dominates, emotions get pushed aside. ‘If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t count’ might be its mantra. So when people start talking ‘feelings’ and ‘intuition’ it laughs and dismisses them as ‘irrational!’